"The Odyssey"

ENG 102: Book Report

My review of the book is that it is a big book. I can’t remember it all, but here’s the best parts, based on the book that I bought.

A Queen who has a son, but because he has no dad, what he goes through is inconceivable.

Jason Bourne grows a beard and misses his dog. His Argonauts get turned into pigs because the lady on the island is afraid of lions. Odysseus goes to the Underworld to get directions—they could have just checked their phones—and then they eat a sacred cow, which is odd because there are plenty of fish in the sea. Anyway, they pig out because they used to be pigs. Also, a one-eyed giant goes blind, which is sad because he was too single-focused.

Then someone pulls the plug for the ocean, which I guess is kinda like a toilet, only it never flushes. Mom says the Mediterranean is polluted. Now I know why!

Next, Catwoman’s beaus die because they cannot string a bow, which is a clever word game, and the dog, who was old, dies. Then Mary Jane gets bored and disappears. Jason goes home and then gets back on a boat, which is just asking for trouble.

I would have stayed for the Easter Egg, but I had to pee.

In the end, I like it, except the story was boring, the characters, were old, and Circe was way sexier when she was in Mad Max. And Catwoman was married to Shakespeare, my mom says, so she wasn’t exactly faithful either. Also, Batman should have married Catwoman, like in the comics.

I give it a 4 out of 3 stars.

*No one bothers to read the fine print.